Thursday, August 30, 2012


Never have tears come so easily. This is the 12th time I have put a child in an operating room. The 10th time for Ashley.

There are tears of relief that this could possibly be the last surgery.

There are tears of grief for all she has been through.

There are tears of dread for the psi that awaits her post operatively.

Tears of fatigue.

Tears of release.

And so we wait.

Expectantly. That the Lord will perfect his work in her today. That he will be our shield and strong tower. That our God is mighty to save today.

Friday, August 24, 2012

Sitting in Hope

On August 20 I finished a 30 day printed media fast - no newspapers, magazines or books.  Hard for someone who looks forward to the daily paper, reads Newsweek and Time magazines from cover-to-cover; devours Christianity Today each month and loves to read most every genre of literature ever imagined.

The hardest day to abide by this fast was Ashley's surgery day - August 8.  I usually grab magazines or occupy myself with a book during the endless wait.  

Two hours.  That was the scheduled time for this operation.  I could do it.

Two hours became four and a half.  
My Four Hour Waiting Room View

But by not burying myself in a book, I was able to share Jesus through Ashley's story two times.  

By not numbing my pain with distraction, I was forced to face it, go through it and learn again of God's faithfulness.

When walking the hallways both day and night, I was able to pray for those around me.  To be present.  See pain.  Give Hope.

The view did not change for 3 days, but my viewpoint has bettered in the past 30!

When escaping into a world of books, movies, drugs, alcohol - whatever your favorite distraction - we rob ourselves of feeling emotions - the good and the bad - and receiving the Hope God wishes to bring us.

Ashley goes for surgery again on August 30 - this time in Durango, CO.  For her hand.  Her second hand surgery.  I'm not looking forward to her pain or the wait.  But I am looking forward to seeing where God uses us this time!

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Hope for Today

We returned yesterday from 3 days in Children's Hospital of Colorado - 3 days, 4 hours, 15 minutes to be exact.

It was surgery #9 for Ashley.

And may I say it was full of excitement. Nothing went smoothly. Longer surgery, hospital problems, med problems, breathing stuff, personnel complications, house keeping issues - you name it, we battled it.

When asked how I would rate the trip, I said A+. We made it through successfully! Sharing Jesus in waiting rooms, with nurses, with each other.

Before you enter a battle, you must decide what you want to look like when it is over.

Like an athlete - envision the end result. Victory. A gold medal. A smile. A gracious loss even.

What do you want them to say about you when the race is over?

For this is a race! A contest. And the enemy of your soul wishes to distract you while you are racing. To make you so focused on the hurdle in front of you that you cannot see the finish line.

"Run in such a way to win the prize,". We learned this in sports camp. Rub for the prize but train in integrity.