Surgery #12

WHAT A CRAZY SEASON!  I want every post to bring HOPE to someone.  Somewhere.  I hope this rundown of the past 2.5 months tells you this:  Yes, You CAN Do It!


Chris's Senior Soccer Season was so fun!

What fun senior pics by the amazing Carol!!

By November, he was accepted to Trinity International University to play soccer.  He and I traveled up there for a great week of visits.  Yes, I can drive in Chicago!

Ashley chose in August to have the Baclofen Pump implanted.

Surgery was Scheduled for November.

HOPE Deliveries was started.

People from 4 states donated items and money for gifts to give to caregivers and patients on the 6th floor Rehab and Neuro wing at Children's Hospital of Colorado.







I was invited to speak next April at the Mission Women Conference!  Ashley took head shots of me for the conference web site.  So fun!

We drove up a suburban full of fun things!!  The day before her surgery - We delivered.  We loved.  We held.  We laughed.  Amazing day of giving!

Then surgery day.  1pm became 4pm.  4pm became 7pm.  Surgery started at 8:30.  It was over at 11:30.  It was 1:30am before we were settled in the room.

Her hand reacted immediately to the baclofen.

We've decorated her room.  Watched movies.  Entertained her as she lay flat for 36hours!!

Therapy pets - her favorite visitors!

The letdown has hit today.

Like I have been holding my breathe since August 25th.

Tears will come suddenly.  Relief.  Fatigue maybe.  But all in Peace.

Thank you for all who have held us in prayer during this season.

Remember

Testimony Tuesday. . .


A day to remember.

Not reflect on your trials and heartaches, but on what God has done for you.

I believe God's hand is at work in every situation of every day but we fail to see Him.


              We call it fortune when it's actually provision.  

              We call it fate when it's God's perfect timing.

              We claim our planning over His Will.

              Near misses?  Our good luck.


God longs to show himself strong on our behalf - yet when he goes we fail to acknowledge him, not to mention give him Thanks!

Pray for God's eyes to see His Hand today.

Remember!  Write it down!  Share it with your friends and family!

TESTIFY!!!

In A Pit, A Den or A Dungeon

Where are you living today?

We have all "done time" in a situation we didn't like. It was uncomfortable.  Maybe it was of no fault of our own.   The smells, the sounds may have been unbearable at times.

The good news - God sees you!

Look at these guys:

Daniel
   In A Den
       Daniel 6:16, "So the king gave the order, and they brought Daniel and 
                               threw him into the lions’ den."

Jeremiah
    In A Pit
          Jeremiah 38:6, "Then took they Jeremiah, and cast him into the pit."


Paul and Silas
     In A Dungeon
           Acts 16:23, "After they had been severely flogged, they were thrown into prison."


Not the most pleasant of places.  Daniel was in the company of fierce lions who ate  men for their supper.  Jeremiah's pit was so wet he sank into the mud.  Paul and Silas were house in the inner cells where no light could penetrate the darkness.

But the were not alone!

The lion's mouths were closed.   Jeremiah's friends pulled him out.  Paul and Silas were released by an earthquake!

How different the story might have been if their attitudes had been different.  Instead of praying they gave way to despair.  Instead of singing they had a pity party.

Your circumstances are known to God.  He has not left you.  Never will!   Check your heart and look up!  The pit is where you are, not WHO you are!

Just like Paul and Silas, you will hear the words, "Release them!"  and out of the pit or dungeon you will come with head high and shouting the praises of God!

Monday, Monday

"How big is your God? Is He big enough to do anything, or are there limits (in your mind) to what God can do? What could you do today to begin to live with a bigger, better view of God?"

Batterson, Mark (2008-08-19). In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day (Kindle Locations 451-452). The Doubleday Religious Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. 

How's that for a Monday morning question?

I read this Thursday night.  Before bed.  And for two days, I prayed, "God who are you?"

Not head knowledge - Creator, Redeemer, Savior.

I wanted some heart knowledge.  I craved for a picture of God that was out of my box.  Not created by me or my memory from artists' imaginations or Sunday School literature.

"Who Are You?  Who do you want me to see?"

In obedience, our Pastor Mark, shared Sunday during worship a word picture God had revealed to Him.  It was what I needed.  It was who God wanted me to see.

A Warrior God.  Fighting against the enemy on my behalf.  Defending me while I sleep.  Surrounding me while I walked down the street.  Sword drawn.  Daring the darkness to try and touch His precious Child!  

Safe.  So safe.  No weapon was going to harm me - it would not even come near me!  

God loves to reveal himself to us.  I am convinced more and more that he longs for us to see Him more in his fullness so that we may trust Him more.

He is not daunted by the question, "who are you?"  He loves it!  He wants us to ask!!

Do you dare?  Are you ready?  Are you willing to let God reveal himself to you today?

Ask Him!!

Let's Get this Straight!

Creative - I love the way our creative God speaks to us - some through nature;  some through fiction or movies;  some in visual arts;  ballet; and so often, music.

Tonight, the lyrics of a Mat Kearney song are ringing in my head:

   "Closer To Love"

She got the call today
One out of the gray
And when the smoke cleared
It took her breath away
She said she didn't believe
It could happen to me
I guess we're all one phone call from our knees

It has been one year and 8 days since Ashley had surgery on her left great toe.  It was a major one.  One hour became two then three then four. . .  problems getting the bones to align.  Use of crushed donor bone to put her toe together.  Then 3 hospital days.  Lung problems.  

But she came through yet again.  She couldn't dance last year which broke her heart.  The toe wasn't fusing.  We waited.  We've watched.

Then more xrays this month.  Send the xrays to Denver.  Wait.

And today the call came.

"Hi, Kim, this is Merritt!" 

We love Merritt.  She is Dr. Frank Chang's wonderful Hospital Wife.  She organizes him, schedules him, probably knows as much medicine as the students that darken the halls of Children's Hospital of Colorado.  She has laughed with us.  She has sat in the room with us and told us her wedding plans.  Brought us snacks and water when appointments went long.  And even cried with us when the news wasn't good.

"We got Ashley's xrays from Durango today.  Dr. Chang is here with me.  Do you have am minute to talk?"

Never.  Ever.  has Dr. Chang and Merritt talked to us at the same time.  

THUD.  sound of heart sinking.

"Sure," I said and grabbed a pencil and paper and headed to the kitchen table.  I knew I'd need to sit.

It seems the hardware in her toe has failed.  The joint did not fuse with the hardware.  The dystonia - uncontrolled movements - have wiggled the screw loose.  It has worked it's way out of the bone and is sitting under the skin just under her toe nail.  No wonder she hurts.

Options?  Wait.  Good shoes.  Wait.  Xrays.  Redo the the surgery.  Fix the dystonia with a Baclofen pump (but no guarantees there).  Bone stimulator but not sure that would make a difference at this point.  And - ready - amputation of great toe just past toe nail.

"Have Ashley call me anytime.  I will talk to her on the phone.  We will make decisions together."  Love that man.  Dr. Chang has been a God-send to us.  We pray for him alot.

Ashley and I sat at the table and talked.  She took the list of options to her room.  I went to my closet.  We both cried.  Then she came and found me and we cried together.

Then we went about our evening.

So let's get this straight.  Clear the air.  

Hope does not mean the absence of uncertainty.

Faith goes not mean you don't have questions.

The boat rocks,  the waves roll.  Lighting flashes and thunder booms.  

But my Anchor holds!

My Anchor knows the storm is there - He speaks to the wind.

My Anchor knows the pain involved - He feels for me.

But most importantly, He Has NEVER Let Me Go!!!

So get this straight!  God loves you!!!  He's got this!!!

Hang on!!!

And Stay in the Boat!!

The Concept of Chaos

I love the concept of a disciplined life.

A schedule.  Knowing what's going to happen when.

Up.  Bible.  Dress.  Pray some more.  Breakfast.  Kids.  Exercise.  School.  Read. . .

You get the picture.

Disciplined.  Stable.  Structured.  Predictable.  Unwavering.

~  Yeah, right.

A friend recently wrote me that she's "running every day now!."   I replied, "I brush my teeth every day."  But that seems about the most consistent thing I do on a routine.

My husband has a routine.  In fact, if you interrupt that routine, he's likely to forget something.  Several years ago, I had to be at work earlier than normal.  I entered the bathroom at a different point in his routine - he forgot to shave.  I through him off.  Adaptation is not one of his strengths.

Actually there are things I do every day, just not on a time schedule.  I go to God every day.  I read His Word every day.  I cook. I clean. I read.  I get dressed for bed.  I sleep.  And I start over.  Every day.

But mine is more Chaos than Structure.

"Order and disorder," said the Speaker, "they each have their beauty," wrote Orson S. Card in Speaker for the Dead.  That is my life!  Order and Disorder.  They live together.

2012-2013 was a Beautiful Chaos.  There was much Disorder but God was putting Order into in His way.  Multiple surgeries for Ashley.  Friends.  Business changes.  Moves.  Trips.  School.  Service.

Out of Chaos God creates.  He Creates.

Out of the Chaos of the Cosmos He created planets that spin in a precise orbit.  Stars that shine and moons that control sea tides thousands of miles away.  In the Chaos of humanity He brought a Savior to bring us Hope.

In the Chaos of our daily life, He desires to bring His order.  It may not look scheduled or regimented - but it's His.  Learning to listening to Him so that while folding laundry you pray for those wearer of those clothes.  When you reach for your favorite tea mug you pray for the precious friend who bought it for you.   During your morning routine, you praise Him for his creative creations.

That's God's Order.  That's His discipline.

His Concept of Chaos is Discipline through Obedience.

I like that.

God's Economics

I am constantly amazed by God’s provision.

 Not just in the economics of Finance – but in His economics.

We have seen God provided for the monetary needs time and again.  Bills paid on time when there seemed to be no money in the bank.  Food on the table.  Heat in the house.  That little extra we find in the budget that buys a pizza for a special meal.   God’s provisions are never late.  They may not always look or taste like we want – but they are there nonetheless.

 But God is more concerned at our Spiritual Status than our physical comforts.

 The Economics of the Spiritual

I was reminded last night about the importance of hiding God’s word in our hearts so that it’s there when we need it.   As a teenager, my dad would give me a quarter before leaving on a date.  It was to use the pay phone to call him.  Any time.  Anywhere.  No questions asked.  He’d come get me.  It was there as an insurance against the unthinkable.

 Memorizing Scriptures is much the same.

 

Psalms 119:11, “I have stored up (hidden, memorized, meditated on) your Word in my heart, that I might not sin against You.”

When I memorize, meditate, commit to my heart the Word of God, I am banking against hard times!  Like that quarter in my pocket, I have God inside of my heart for those “just in case” against the unthinkable.

Sundays are long days for us.  Yesterday began a 7:30 with a Prayer and Worship for Children’s Ministry Leaders.  I’m not a morning person.  Far from it.  I’d love to watch the sunrise – if it happened about 9:00 am every day.   Then we worked as a Greeter / Hallway Monitor and Security during 1^st service – 8:30 – 10:30.  The family that takes over for us had a sick child.  So, we greeted, monitored and secured during 2^nd service while popping in to worship, hear the sermon and loving on kids.  I picked the wrong day to wear heels!  Then it was home for a quick bite;  fold laundry;  put away yard stuff before the snows then back to church at 5:00pm to fix dinner for ReFrame (our young adult ministires – which we love!!!), worship service, bible study and then dinner and game night.

 

Whew.

Before the ReFrame service, I received one of those calls that folks with difficult family situations expect and dread.  Just another piece of the pie.  Another nail in the wall.  Nothing new.  But hurts all the same.

But in the God’s Economics of the Spiritual – I was ready.  In Worship that morning, I heard God repeating, “Heal” to me.  Not just physical but the spiritual and emotional.  I don’t remember the song, but one line kept repeating in my head, “I have found a Love.”   In Church, I was reminded of the Year of Jubilee – God has come to set us free!  In the afternoon, there was peace in sitting with my husband.  Just being in his arms.  Being loved.    At ReFrame, I was reminded, that I have a God’s word in Me!  It’s alive and living and it binds up the broken hearted!  In Worship, I wept as God poured His healing in my wounded heart.  I served those young people with gladness. 

Their hugs were payment back into my Economics of Love account!

 I am reminded of Matthew 6:8, “for your Father knows what you need before you even ask Him!”

He knew what I would need yesterday.

 

And He has today covered.

 

And my Tomorrow is banked as well.

 

Invest in His Spiritual Economics Today!  Every Day! 

 

The rewards are great!