Waiting. . . Christmas Eve 2013

Waiting

Christmas Eve is the perfect example of Waiting...

The pregnant Mary waiting to deliver.

The nervous Joseph waiting to see what it will be like to raise the Son of God.

The Shepherds waiting in the fields not expecting to see Angels.

The Wise Men waiting for a sign and then  beginning a journey without knowing what they will find.

Even today. . .

Children waiting to open presents.

Mothers waiting for the cookies to be done.

Dads waiting to put together surprise toys.

Relatives waiting for phone calls and long expected guests.

The world itself waits -

     long ago it waited for the Birth of the Christ.

     today it waits for His return.

Waiting. . .

                   . . . in HOPE.


The God of the Old Testament who fulfilled his promises so long ago, still keeps His Promises today. We can trust Him.

Wait in his HOPE today - the miracle of Christmas still lives!

Sitting In Hope

December 21!!

Really?

How did we get here?

Yes, I know the obvious - one minute at a time.  One breath.  One step.

But seriously?  I feel like it was November 15 just yesterday.

Maybe this loss of time is a good thing.  

Not that I've glossed over life but that I'm not bogged down with the minutia of all that has happened in the past 18 months.

But I am sitting here with my computer on my lap watching the snow fall and just knowing that there's peace.

I haven't really just SAT for months.  Well, I've been at soccer games - and took pictures.  I've been in hospital rooms - and planned the Holidays.    At my desk I've planned lessons, graded papers and answered mail.

This has not been a Martha-type busyness.  In fact, Martha gets a bad rap sometimes.  Her fault was in not taking time THAT DAY to sit.  But think - without Martha's in this world, no one eats, clothes are dirty and there is general Chaos.  Martha was made to be busy - but she forgot to take those days to SIT.

For 18 months I've had very few SIT days.  Not because of my own making - it's just been life.  But there have been those times when God has told me to SIT.

SIT.

Not even ready by Bible.

Not pray.

Not praise.

SIT!!

Clear my mind.  Just BE in HIS presence.

That is what has held me the past year and a half.  Through curve balls, living out of suitcases, facing fears, grieving loss and planning tomorrows, HIS presence has been my strength.

SIT today.  Be STILL.

SIT in HOPE that HE is GOD.

Surgery #12

WHAT A CRAZY SEASON!  I want every post to bring HOPE to someone.  Somewhere.  I hope this rundown of the past 2.5 months tells you this:  Yes, You CAN Do It!


Chris's Senior Soccer Season was so fun!

What fun senior pics by the amazing Carol!!

By November, he was accepted to Trinity International University to play soccer.  He and I traveled up there for a great week of visits.  Yes, I can drive in Chicago!

Ashley chose in August to have the Baclofen Pump implanted.

Surgery was Scheduled for November.

HOPE Deliveries was started.

People from 4 states donated items and money for gifts to give to caregivers and patients on the 6th floor Rehab and Neuro wing at Children's Hospital of Colorado.







I was invited to speak next April at the Mission Women Conference!  Ashley took head shots of me for the conference web site.  So fun!

We drove up a suburban full of fun things!!  The day before her surgery - We delivered.  We loved.  We held.  We laughed.  Amazing day of giving!

Then surgery day.  1pm became 4pm.  4pm became 7pm.  Surgery started at 8:30.  It was over at 11:30.  It was 1:30am before we were settled in the room.

Her hand reacted immediately to the baclofen.

We've decorated her room.  Watched movies.  Entertained her as she lay flat for 36hours!!

Therapy pets - her favorite visitors!

The letdown has hit today.

Like I have been holding my breathe since August 25th.

Tears will come suddenly.  Relief.  Fatigue maybe.  But all in Peace.

Thank you for all who have held us in prayer during this season.

Remember

Testimony Tuesday. . .


A day to remember.

Not reflect on your trials and heartaches, but on what God has done for you.

I believe God's hand is at work in every situation of every day but we fail to see Him.


              We call it fortune when it's actually provision.  

              We call it fate when it's God's perfect timing.

              We claim our planning over His Will.

              Near misses?  Our good luck.


God longs to show himself strong on our behalf - yet when he goes we fail to acknowledge him, not to mention give him Thanks!

Pray for God's eyes to see His Hand today.

Remember!  Write it down!  Share it with your friends and family!

TESTIFY!!!

In A Pit, A Den or A Dungeon

Where are you living today?

We have all "done time" in a situation we didn't like. It was uncomfortable.  Maybe it was of no fault of our own.   The smells, the sounds may have been unbearable at times.

The good news - God sees you!

Look at these guys:

Daniel
   In A Den
       Daniel 6:16, "So the king gave the order, and they brought Daniel and 
                               threw him into the lions’ den."

Jeremiah
    In A Pit
          Jeremiah 38:6, "Then took they Jeremiah, and cast him into the pit."


Paul and Silas
     In A Dungeon
           Acts 16:23, "After they had been severely flogged, they were thrown into prison."


Not the most pleasant of places.  Daniel was in the company of fierce lions who ate  men for their supper.  Jeremiah's pit was so wet he sank into the mud.  Paul and Silas were house in the inner cells where no light could penetrate the darkness.

But the were not alone!

The lion's mouths were closed.   Jeremiah's friends pulled him out.  Paul and Silas were released by an earthquake!

How different the story might have been if their attitudes had been different.  Instead of praying they gave way to despair.  Instead of singing they had a pity party.

Your circumstances are known to God.  He has not left you.  Never will!   Check your heart and look up!  The pit is where you are, not WHO you are!

Just like Paul and Silas, you will hear the words, "Release them!"  and out of the pit or dungeon you will come with head high and shouting the praises of God!

Monday, Monday

"How big is your God? Is He big enough to do anything, or are there limits (in your mind) to what God can do? What could you do today to begin to live with a bigger, better view of God?"

Batterson, Mark (2008-08-19). In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day (Kindle Locations 451-452). The Doubleday Religious Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. 

How's that for a Monday morning question?

I read this Thursday night.  Before bed.  And for two days, I prayed, "God who are you?"

Not head knowledge - Creator, Redeemer, Savior.

I wanted some heart knowledge.  I craved for a picture of God that was out of my box.  Not created by me or my memory from artists' imaginations or Sunday School literature.

"Who Are You?  Who do you want me to see?"

In obedience, our Pastor Mark, shared Sunday during worship a word picture God had revealed to Him.  It was what I needed.  It was who God wanted me to see.

A Warrior God.  Fighting against the enemy on my behalf.  Defending me while I sleep.  Surrounding me while I walked down the street.  Sword drawn.  Daring the darkness to try and touch His precious Child!  

Safe.  So safe.  No weapon was going to harm me - it would not even come near me!  

God loves to reveal himself to us.  I am convinced more and more that he longs for us to see Him more in his fullness so that we may trust Him more.

He is not daunted by the question, "who are you?"  He loves it!  He wants us to ask!!

Do you dare?  Are you ready?  Are you willing to let God reveal himself to you today?

Ask Him!!

Let's Get this Straight!

Creative - I love the way our creative God speaks to us - some through nature;  some through fiction or movies;  some in visual arts;  ballet; and so often, music.

Tonight, the lyrics of a Mat Kearney song are ringing in my head:

   "Closer To Love"

She got the call today
One out of the gray
And when the smoke cleared
It took her breath away
She said she didn't believe
It could happen to me
I guess we're all one phone call from our knees

It has been one year and 8 days since Ashley had surgery on her left great toe.  It was a major one.  One hour became two then three then four. . .  problems getting the bones to align.  Use of crushed donor bone to put her toe together.  Then 3 hospital days.  Lung problems.  

But she came through yet again.  She couldn't dance last year which broke her heart.  The toe wasn't fusing.  We waited.  We've watched.

Then more xrays this month.  Send the xrays to Denver.  Wait.

And today the call came.

"Hi, Kim, this is Merritt!" 

We love Merritt.  She is Dr. Frank Chang's wonderful Hospital Wife.  She organizes him, schedules him, probably knows as much medicine as the students that darken the halls of Children's Hospital of Colorado.  She has laughed with us.  She has sat in the room with us and told us her wedding plans.  Brought us snacks and water when appointments went long.  And even cried with us when the news wasn't good.

"We got Ashley's xrays from Durango today.  Dr. Chang is here with me.  Do you have am minute to talk?"

Never.  Ever.  has Dr. Chang and Merritt talked to us at the same time.  

THUD.  sound of heart sinking.

"Sure," I said and grabbed a pencil and paper and headed to the kitchen table.  I knew I'd need to sit.

It seems the hardware in her toe has failed.  The joint did not fuse with the hardware.  The dystonia - uncontrolled movements - have wiggled the screw loose.  It has worked it's way out of the bone and is sitting under the skin just under her toe nail.  No wonder she hurts.

Options?  Wait.  Good shoes.  Wait.  Xrays.  Redo the the surgery.  Fix the dystonia with a Baclofen pump (but no guarantees there).  Bone stimulator but not sure that would make a difference at this point.  And - ready - amputation of great toe just past toe nail.

"Have Ashley call me anytime.  I will talk to her on the phone.  We will make decisions together."  Love that man.  Dr. Chang has been a God-send to us.  We pray for him alot.

Ashley and I sat at the table and talked.  She took the list of options to her room.  I went to my closet.  We both cried.  Then she came and found me and we cried together.

Then we went about our evening.

So let's get this straight.  Clear the air.  

Hope does not mean the absence of uncertainty.

Faith goes not mean you don't have questions.

The boat rocks,  the waves roll.  Lighting flashes and thunder booms.  

But my Anchor holds!

My Anchor knows the storm is there - He speaks to the wind.

My Anchor knows the pain involved - He feels for me.

But most importantly, He Has NEVER Let Me Go!!!

So get this straight!  God loves you!!!  He's got this!!!

Hang on!!!

And Stay in the Boat!!

The Concept of Chaos

I love the concept of a disciplined life.

A schedule.  Knowing what's going to happen when.

Up.  Bible.  Dress.  Pray some more.  Breakfast.  Kids.  Exercise.  School.  Read. . .

You get the picture.

Disciplined.  Stable.  Structured.  Predictable.  Unwavering.

~  Yeah, right.

A friend recently wrote me that she's "running every day now!."   I replied, "I brush my teeth every day."  But that seems about the most consistent thing I do on a routine.

My husband has a routine.  In fact, if you interrupt that routine, he's likely to forget something.  Several years ago, I had to be at work earlier than normal.  I entered the bathroom at a different point in his routine - he forgot to shave.  I through him off.  Adaptation is not one of his strengths.

Actually there are things I do every day, just not on a time schedule.  I go to God every day.  I read His Word every day.  I cook. I clean. I read.  I get dressed for bed.  I sleep.  And I start over.  Every day.

But mine is more Chaos than Structure.

"Order and disorder," said the Speaker, "they each have their beauty," wrote Orson S. Card in Speaker for the Dead.  That is my life!  Order and Disorder.  They live together.

2012-2013 was a Beautiful Chaos.  There was much Disorder but God was putting Order into in His way.  Multiple surgeries for Ashley.  Friends.  Business changes.  Moves.  Trips.  School.  Service.

Out of Chaos God creates.  He Creates.

Out of the Chaos of the Cosmos He created planets that spin in a precise orbit.  Stars that shine and moons that control sea tides thousands of miles away.  In the Chaos of humanity He brought a Savior to bring us Hope.

In the Chaos of our daily life, He desires to bring His order.  It may not look scheduled or regimented - but it's His.  Learning to listening to Him so that while folding laundry you pray for those wearer of those clothes.  When you reach for your favorite tea mug you pray for the precious friend who bought it for you.   During your morning routine, you praise Him for his creative creations.

That's God's Order.  That's His discipline.

His Concept of Chaos is Discipline through Obedience.

I like that.